Feb. 22nd, 2008
I hate this journal. I think I might delete it. But I would hate to have to reapply to some of the journals and communities I am in.
Sep. 6th, 2007
03:14 pm - Red wine Red dress.
Mar. 1st, 2006
07:46 am - awake.
i want to live a worthy life. i want to have the strength within my self to not be pulled into peoples constant drama and the need to have more or be more. i just want to be me...the best me I can be and not worry about other people and their petty shit. i want people to feel peace when they are with me. i want people to trust me and i want them to feel peace when they are with me. i want to inspire and live a buddhist life.
The basic Buddhist principles are to lead a good moral life, to attain much wisdom, tolerance, and understanding, as well as to awaken yourself to thoughts and actions.
i wan to love people even if i don't understand them. i want to forgive them and myself for our shortcomings. i want to be tolerant.
Firewood does not become ashes and life does not become death
Just as the winter does not become the spring
Every moment of time is self-contained and quiescent
Like the empty sky it has no boundaries,
Yet it is right in this place, ever profound and clear
When you see to know it, you cannot see it
You cannot take hold of it
But you cannot lose it
In not being able to get it, you get it
When you are silent, it speaks;
When you speak, it is silent.
The great gate is wide open to bestow alms,
And no crowd is blocking the way
i open my soul up to this awakening.
Feb. 21st, 2006
12:42 am - what I watched.
last night I watched born into brothels. I couldn't help crying and feeling so selfish for going on horrible buying binges on ebay. I know that I will adopt children from oter countries. I have been thinking about three. One from China, one from Honduras, and one from India. Maybe I will have two of my own to make it an uneven five.
I also watched the jacket. It was better then I was hoping for.
Well, I guess I can still look on ebay....
Feb. 20th, 2006
04:50 am - Weakest link.
The field I work in has a lot of strange people in it (which may or may not include myself). The person I was working with before often talked to himself with hand movements and various face movements which led me to believe that he was in active conversations with people I couldn't see. The new person who has come to replace the spirit talker is even stranger (if possible).
The new guy asks one million five hundred questions. If you say one he asks why not five. If you say black he says why not white and green. He has degrees in mathematics and computer science but is the stupidest motherfucker I have met yet. So I guess the lesson of the day is that a college education does not equate that you know a damn thing!! :-)
Dec. 8th, 2005
07:02 am - Womans blood is sacred.
I want a woman.
I want to smell her skin and hear her laughter.
I want to taste the honey of her special place and the soft smell of her in the morning. I want to bury my face in her neck and run my fingers through her soft hair. I want to worship her and know her secret thoughts. I want to fill her up inside with my fingers and make her scream in pleasure from the knowlegable movement of my tongue. I want to suck on her nipples and run my hands on her soft skin on her feet, legs, hips, stomach, breasts, neck, face, mouth. I want to be her friend and know her biggest fears and know about her husband and children and family. I want to drink red wine with her and by candlelight take away all her worries about the future. I want to fuck her and suckle her and make love to her as only a woman can. I want to be that for you woman because it is what you want.
Let me get a taste of you and know what makes you wet. I want to play with your pussy and see if it feels like mine velvety warm pink soft tasting faintly bitter. I want to smell your perfume all over me when I go home to dream of you. To need you till the next time you call.
Woman I want you.
Oct. 29th, 2005
03:10 am - Life is good
and yesterday I wondered what it was all for
if in the end it will be justified.
and today I wonder what else I could need
if in the end it will be too much.
Oct. 6th, 2005
07:55 am - For this gypsy love. (yes you)
I've met you
one out of ten
I want to crawl beneath your shadow
and rest a while
I want to hold your essence in
my mind a while
I want to breath the life of you
and know what you like for breakfast
Mexico, I love you.
Oct. 5th, 2005
Sep. 29th, 2005
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